jokes in hindi

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Hindi Jokes
Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?
Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi


Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?
Student: vidya ke khaatir
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?
Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir


Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga


1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum poochti kyu nahi ho.
2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin unhone mujhe diyaa nahi.


Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor.


Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai

Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
Patient: teek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
Funny Hindi Jokes
1st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho?
2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo


Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa


Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod dee hai.
naukar: bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai


Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai?
Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga?
Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa
Jokes in Hindi
Autowaala: sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya.
santa: problem nahi hai. main bhi apna purse bhool aaya. chodo


Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne sochaa:
"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"


Ek kadvaa sach :-)
Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai,
Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,
lekin wife ka friend wife nahi ban sakti


suma: maa, raju ne mujhe kiss de diyaa
maa: haan kya? rukho main poochti hoo.
suma: nahi maa. tum poochoge to woh nahi degaa


Paagal 1: main Taj Mahal ko kareedh loonga
Paagal 2: main use abhi bhech nahi rahaa hoo


Customer: yeh kya offer hai? TV liya to 10 kerchief free!!!
Salesman: TV serials dekhne ke baad aapki aansoo ponchne ke liye


Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha


Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do
Doctor Patient Hindi Jokes
Doctor: aapko isse pehle kabhi heart attack hua thaa kya?
Patient: haa doctor, bichle baar jab aap bill diye the

Nurse: udhaas kyu baite ho sir?
Doctor: dopahar jiska operation kiya tha, woh mar gaya.
Nurse: arey woh to post mortem tha.
Doctor: to main subah kiska post mortem kiyaa tha


Patient: Doctor, kya aapko yakeen hai ke mujhe cancer hai. kyunki ek baar kisi doctor ne

cancer ka ilaaj karte the aur patient TB se mar gaya.
Doctor: gabraao nahi... agar main ilaaj karungaa to tum sirf cancer se hi maroge.

Doctor: sharaab peena haanikaarak hai. is vichaar main mujhe aapse baath karni hai.
Patient: theek hai doctor. sham ko moonlight bar mein milenge.


Doctor: aapke pati ko zyaada rest ki zaroorat hai. yeh sleeping tablets leejiye.
Wife: unko yeh kab dena hai doctor?
Doctor: yeh unke liye nahi, aapke liye hai :-)

Doctor: dekhiye, yeh bimaari khaandaani hai. aapke daadaaji se shuru hui hai.
Patient: bach gaya!!! tab aap yeh operation mere daadaaji ko hee keejiye.

Patient: Doctor, meri beti ko aajkal kuch sunaayi nahi deti hai
Doctor: kya? tumhe 5 din se bukhaar hai aur tum abhi aa rahe ho!

Wife: doctor ji, mere pati neend mein baat karna shuru kardiye hai. kya karu?
Doctor: din mein unko baat karne kaa mouka deejiye.


Doctor: roz hotel mein khaane se hee aapko ulcer hui hai?
Patient: to aaj se mein ghar ko parcel leke jaaunga


Patient: doctor, mujhe 3 mahine se khaasi hai.
Doctor: itne din kyu chup the?
Patient: chup kaun tha doctor. main to khaas rahaa tha.


Doctor: operation ke baad ab sab teek hai. tum sab kuch sun sakte ho.
Patient: aapne kuch bola kya?


Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: aap rahenge. lekin main rahoonga kya?

Doctor: tum abhi 2 ganto main mar jaanewaale ho. kya tumhaara koi aakhri khwaaish hai?
Patient: Haanji, ek achche doctor ko consult karna hai
Hilarious Jokes in Hindi
Public to Santa: us rowdy ke vajah se hum pareshaan hai. use haamare area se bhagaane ka koi tareeka bataao?
Santa: aasaan hai, use election mein khadaa karke MLA banaa do. agle 5 saal tak woh tumhaare area ki taraf nahi aayega.


Ramu: tum kaunsi soap use karte ho?
Banta: Main Santa Soap, Santa Paste aur Santa Shampoo use karta hoo
Ramu: wo kya international brand hai kya?
Banta: nahi, santa mera room mate hai.


Santa: tumhaara beta bilkul tumhaara jaisa hi dikhtaa hai.
Banta: dheere se bol... woh padosi ka beta hai

Santa: agar electricity nahi hota to kya hota?
Banta: raat mein candle light mein TV dekhna padta tha


Driver: Poora petrol khatam ho gayi hai. ab aage nahi bad sakte.
Santa: teek hai, gaadi reverse lo aur ghar vaapas chalo


Santa: Tumhe kyu arrest kiya gayaa hai?
banta: maine 50 rupaye ka chillar diya. isliye.
santa: usme kya galti hai?
banta: maine chillar mein do 25 rupaye ka note diyaa tha :-)


Santa: "impossible" shabd mere dictionary mein nahi hai
Banta: arey yaar, ab bataake kyaa faayda. dictionary lete samay check karlenaa thaa na


Examiner santa se: yeh kya hai? tumne khaali paper kyu diye ho?
Santa: kyunki neatness ke liye 5 marks hai, isliye


Santa: maine apni shaadi kaa aamantran patra bejaa thaa na? kyu nahi aaya?
Banta: lekin mujhe koi patra nahi milaa
Santa: arey yaar, maine usme likha thaa na. patra nahi milaa to bhi, zaroor aane ke liye!!!


Santa: bhaisaab, yahaa se mumbai kitna door hai?
Vyakti: 400 km.
Santa: baap re, mujhe aaj hi vaapas lautnaa hai. mumbai se yahaa tak kitnaa door hai?
Pati Patni Hindi Jokes
Patni: swamiji ne kahaa ke swarg mein pati patni ko saath rehne nahi dete hai
Pati: isiliye usae swarg kehete hai :-)

1st Man: shaadi ke baad main lakhpati ban gaya.
2nd Man: use kyu itnaa udhaas bol rahe ho?
1st Man: usse pehle mein crorepati tha


Pati: aaj sunday hai aur aish karna. movie ke liye 3 ticket laayaa hoon.
Patni: teen kyu?
Pati: tumhe aur tumhaare maata pitaa ke liye.


Patni: agar main mar jaaungi, to aap royenge kya?
Pati: ab kya has rahaa hoo kya?


Patni: dekhoji, hamaare shantabai ki pati, usko khush rakhne ke liye, har hafte movie pe le jaate hai. aap kyu nahi karte ho aise?
Pati: arey, maine bhi shantabai ko movie ke liye bulaaya. lekin usne manaa kardi. isme meri kya galti hai?
Husband and Wife Hindi Jokes
Wife: jab aap chashma utaarte ho, bahut handsome dikte ho.
Husband: haa dear, jab main chashma utaarta hoo, tum bhi bahut khoobsoorat dikti ho


Wife: suniye, hum is hafte poora cinema dekhenge, agle hafte poora shopping karenge.
Husband: uske baad ke hafte poora mandir jaayenge
Wife: kyu?
Husband: bheek maangne ke liye


Husband: agar operation mein mujhe kuch hua to tum us doctor se hi shaadi kar lena.
Wife: aise kyu bol rahe ho?
Husband: usse badla lene ka doosra tareeka nahi hai.

Wife: aji, koi peeche mere pair choo rahaa hai.
Husband: peeche mud ke apna chehra dikha, woh choonaa bandh kar dega


Wife: aapse milne doctorji aaye hai
Husband: mujhe bukhaar hai. unhe kal aane ke liye bolo

Husband: tum khaana bahut achchi banaati ho
Wife: tum jitna bhi maska lagaao, khaana tumhe hee banaanaa padega
School Jokes in Hindi
Teacher: agar shabd pradooshan kam karna hai to kya karna hai?
Student: hamaare kaan bandh kar leni hai.

Teacher: varthamaan, bhoot aur bhavishyat kaal ke udhaaharan do
Student: Madam, kal maine aapki beti ko dekha, aaj main usse pyar kar rahaa hoo aur kal usse shaadi karungaa.
Teacher Student School Hindi Jokes
Principal: class ko der kyu pahunche?
Student: sir, gaadi puncture ho gaya tha
Principal: to tumhe bus mein aana tha
Student: socha tha sir, lekin aapki beti sunti hi nahi ha


Anpad baap: jaise bhi ho, 4 saal ka apna padaai pooraa kardiye. aage kya karoge?
Beta: ji, arrears naam ka ek course hai, use pooraa karna hai.


Teacher: tumhaare aur harish ka answers ek jaise hai. woh kaise?
Student: kyunki question ek hi tha na masterji, isliye :-)


Teacher: Tumhaara Maa kaa naam kya hai?
LKG student: Mummy


Teacher: 5 mark lekar bhi tum has kyu rahe ho?
Student: main yeh soch raha hoo ke woh 5 marks kaise mila :-)


Teacher: agar aise hee padte rahoge, zindagi mein kuch nahi banoge.
Student: jab zindagi mein kuch nahi banunga, tab main bhi ek teacher ban jaaunga sir.


Teacher: jisko kaan sunaayi nahi deta hai, aap use kya bulaate hai?
Santa: kuch bhi bulaa sakte hai. kyunki use sunaayi nahi detaa hai na.


Teacher: duniya ke sabse puraana praani kaunsi hai?
Student: zebra hai sir
Teacher: kaise:
Student: kyunki, woh black and white hai na


Teacher: tumhaara homework kyu tumhaare pitaa ke handwriting main hai?
Student: maine unka pen use kiyaa thaa sir


Teacher: bachcho, agar man se praarthanaa kare to bhagwan aapki kwaaish poora karenge.
Student: woh sab jhoot hai sir.
Teacher: kyu?
Student: agar woh sach hota to, ab tak aap doosre school chale jaate


Teacher: jeene ke liye Oxygen zaroori hai. ise 1773 mein aavishkaar kiye.
Pappu: baap re bach gaya!! agar usse pehle paida hota to main mar jaata


Teacher: Akbar kaun tha?
Student: pata nahi sir.
Teacher: padaai ke taraf dyaan do, pataa chalegaa
Student: Aap battayiye. Suresh kaun hai?
Teacher: pata nahi.
Student: apni beti ki taraf dyaan dijiye, pata chalega.


Teacher: 4+3=7 aur 5+4=9, ab tum bataao 45+5 kitna hua?
Student: Kya sir? aasaan sawaalo ka jaavaab aap de diye aur mushkil savaal mujhse kar rahe ho
Jokes in Hindi
Santa: main shaadi karke khush rahna chaahtaa hoo.
Banta: arey yaar, mazaak mat karo. hasne ki mood nahi hai.


Santa apne bete ko: is baar agar exam mein fail huaa, to mujhe pitaji mat bulaana.
kuch din ke baad,
Santa: result ka kya hua?
Santa ka beta: sorry santa


Santa: main england jaane ke baare mein soch rahaa hoon.
Banta: bahut paise kharch hoga na.
Santa: nahi banta, sochne ke liye paise kyu?


Santa aur banta ko 500 ka ek note milaa.
Santa: hum ise 50-50 karlenge
Banta: baaki 400 kaa kya karoge?


Santa: kahaa gayaa thaa yaar?
Banta: girlfriend ke saath movie dekhne
Santa: kitna kharchaa huaa?
Banta: 500 Rs
Santa: itnaa huaa kya?
Banta: kya karu? uske paas itnaa hee thaa yaar



Santa: kelaa kitna hai?
Dukaanwala: 1 Rupay
Santa: 60 paise mein doge kya?
Dukaanwala: itne me to sirf kele kaa chilkaa hi milegaa
Santa: to 40 paise leke sirf kelaa dedo


Santa: padosi se hatouda maang leke aanaa zara
Banta: maangaa thaa, lekin nahi diye
Santa: log bahut laalchi bangaye hai. chalo, hamaara hatouda leke aao jaldi


Santa: police ne tumhe kyu arrest kiya?
Banta: maine purse se paise nikhaal ke kharchaa kar diyaa thaa
Santa: baap re!! is liye bhi arrest karte hai kya?
Banta: purse kisi aur kaa thaa yaar
Funniest Hindi Jokes
Santa: mera beta meri baat sunta hi nahi hai
Banta: kyu? itna gamandi hai kya?
Santa: nahi. woh behara hai


Santa: tumne us aadmi ko aisa kyu maara?
Banta: usne mujhe poocha ke "Khaana khaaye kya"?
Santa: arey, bhala hi poocha hai na. phir kyu maara?
Banta: main toilet mein baita tha


Santa: mera beta raat bhar book ke saamne hee baita rahta hai.
Banta: lekin phir bhi woh fail kyu huaa?
Santa: wah book 'facebook' tha, isliye


Santa: main apni wife ko bahut pyar karta hoo. tum?
Banta: woh to tumhaari wife hai. main kaise pyar kar sakta hoo?


santa ka beta: Sirji, jab aap paath padaate ho, to mujhe mere pitaa ki yaad aati hai.
Sirji: achchi baath hai. kisliye unki yaad aati hai?
santa ka beta: unko bhi aap hi ke jaise padaana nahi aata hai.


Santa nurse se bola: aapne mera dil churaa liyaa hai.
Nurse: hmmm... maine dil churaane se pehle doctor ne aapka kidney churaa liyaa hai



Santa: shaadi ke baad tumhaari jimmedaari badgayee hai kya?
Banta: haan yaar. pehle sirf mere liye khaana pakaana tha. ab mere biwi ke liye bhi pakaanaa pad rahaa hai.
Santa aur Wife Hindi Joke
Santa: tumhaari wife kyu hamesha gussa rahti hai?
Banta: maine galti se use bola tha ki "tum gusse main bhi bahut khoob lagti ho"
Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi
Santa: pappa agar main exam pass karunga to kya doge?
Pappa: ek cycle dilaadoonga
Santa: agar fail hua to?
Pappa: 10 cycle dilaaunga
Santa: woh kyu?
Pappa: padhaai bandh karke cycle shop khol lo


Santa: navy mein kaam hai. karoge?
Banta: zaroor. kya kaam hai?
Santa: jab ship beech samundar mein ruk jaata hai, to tumhe peeche se use dakhelnaa hai


Police: aapki car ki accident kaise hua?
Santa: woh to mujhe bhi pata nahi hai sir. tab main so rahaa tha?


Santa ne apna cellphone leke dentist ke pass gaya tha. kyu?
kyunki use check karna tha ke uske cell mein bluetooth hai ki nahi.


Doctor: bantaji, khaane baad neend ki goliya lee na aapne.
Banta: uff!! khaane ke baad zor se neend aa raha tha to maine goli lena bhool gaya
Santa Banta Funny Hindi Jokes
Santa ka ghoda kho gayaa tha aur waha bahut khush tha
Banta: arey, tumhaara ghoda kho gaya hai aur tum khush ho? jyu?
Santa: main is liye khush hoo ke jab vo kho gaya to main uske saath nahi tha. hota to main bhi kho jaata na!!!


Santa ki girlfriend: Ab hame jaldi shaadi kar leni chahiye.
Santa: achcha... lekin hame shaadi karega koun?


pappa: mummy kyu chup baithi hai?
santa: kuch nahi, mummy ne lipstick maangi thi, lekin maine fevistick de diya


Pappa: sunitha ko dekho, 1st class mein pass kee hai.
santa: haa, use dekhtaa rahaa to isiliye main fail ho gaya


Santa: waiter, ek coffee laana. kitna hai?
Waiter: 50 Rs.
Santa: saamnewaali dukhaan main to 50 ps hai
Waiter: woh xerox dukhaan hai sir
Santa Banta Hindi Jokes
Banta: Santa, itna udhaas kyu baita hai?
Santa: yaar betting mein maine 2000 gavaa diyaa :-(
Banta: kaise?
Santa: India pe 1000 rupaiye ka bet lagaaya tha aur India ne match haar gaya
Banta: lekin 2000 kaise?
Santa: aaj us match ka highlights daale. India pe ummeed rakh ke phir 1000 dala tha.


Beta: Papa, aap engineer kaise bane?
Santa: uske liye bahut dimaag ka zaroorat padta hai.
Beta: haa pata hai, isiliye mujhe samajh mein nahi aa rahaa hai ke aap kaise engineer bane?


Boss: tumhe MS office pata hai?
Santa: agar address denge to main doond looonga sir


Santa: pata hai, bachpan mein mujhe ek bus ne zor se dakka maar diya tha.
Banta: baap re, tu mar gaya ke bach gaya?
Santa: mujhe yaad nahi hai. main tab 4 saal ka tha

Santa: sab log kyu bhaag rahe hai?
Banta: yeh race hai. jo jeetega use prize milega
Santa: agar sirf jeetnewaale ko prize milega to itne log kyu bhaaga rahe hai?

husband: tumhere mobile ko kya ho gaya ha

wife:kyu

husband : jab maine phone kiya to 1 admi bol 'whom u r suscribing is a animal 4 more info contact ZOO
hahahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahhhahahha!

Angrej: Gandhi ke dono khan kat do..
Gandhi: Nahi.! Anda ho jaunga..
Angrej: Abe kan katne se koi andha hota hai.?
Gandi: chasma kya tere baap ke kan pe lagaunga..!

aman beedi pita hta,
raman:bapu tmari beedi mathi dhumda kem nathi niklta.
aman:te na nikle aa to CNG beedi 6e.

teacher: tum apni mummy ko mum kahte ho,to apni mumy ki badi bahan or chhoti bahan ko kya kahte ho?
ravi: MAXIMUM & MINIMUM

Ques:
"Gawaar" kisko kehte hai?

Ans:
Jo "Anguthe" ka istemal karte hai.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Waise
Aap is waqt
kis "Ungli" ka istemal kar rahe hai..??

techer:jangalat kese khete hai?

student:who jang jis me lat chele?

Teacher: Akbar kaun tha?
Student: pata nahi sir.
Teacher: padaai ke taraf dyaan do, pataa chalegaa
Student: Aap battayiye. Suresh kaun hai?
Teacher: pata nahi.
Student: apni beti ki taraf dyaan dijiye, pata chalega.

chor- sona kaha hai?
adami- malik ap ka he ghar hai,
jha sona he soeye.

ek admi samosha khane hotel gaya. jab wo samosha todta hai to dekhata hai ki usme makkhi aur machchar bhada hai sirf aloo hai hi nahi..
wo hotel wale se jakar bolta hai bhai sahab apke samoshe mein ye makkhi machchar kyun hai..
hotel wala-- bhai sahab 4 rupaye mein hanthi dal kar doon kya?




TV Vs. Biwi Joke in Hindi
Jitne channel Tv ke,
Utne nakhre Biwi ke,
Tv chalta hai remote se,
Biwi chalta hai Note se.
Wife Vs. Saali joke in Hindi
What is the difference between wife & saali?
Saali is Beauty,
Wife is duty,
Saali is passion,
Wife is tension,
Saali is patakha,
Wife is sayapa,
Saali is cool,
Wife is fool,
Saali is tuty-fruity,
Wife is qismat futi, Saali is fresh cake,
Wife is earth quake…
Hindi Wife - Begum Joke
Wife ko begum kyon kehte hai?
Ans: Kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum to husband
se hisse mein aate hai,
aur biwi Be-Gum ho jai Hai!!!
Hindi Husband Joke
Different roles of Man in life:
Sagai ke samay superman,
Shadi ke samay Gentleman,
10 saal baad watchman,
20 saal baad Doberman.
Who is Biwi Joke?
Biwi vo hoti hai jo,
Shaadi ke baad apne pati baad apne
pati kisari aadadto
kobadal deti hai,
aur baad me kehti hai ki,
"aap pehle jaise nahi rahe".
Shaadi Hindi Joke
Shadi ke pehle maine pyar kiya.
Shadi ke baad ye maine kya kiya?
Shadi ke pehle Dil to Pagal Hai.
Shadi ke baad dil to pahal tha!
"S" Hindi Joke
Hum ne zindagi ki shuruaaat 'S' se ki.
S se Suraj, S se Subah, S se Swagat, S se saaz, S se Sangeet.
Par Fir 'S' se Samay ne aisi karwat badli Ki 'S' se hamari Shadi ho gai.
Aur fir jeevan ka arth 'S' se Saans,
Sasural, Sala, Sali, Sasur aur 'Sankat' ho gaya.
Super Husband Wife Joke in Hindi
Sagai Hui... Shadi Hui...
Biwi Ghar Mein Aayi...
Ghar Swarg Ban Gaya...
Aur main "Swargwasi"...
Husband Vs. Wife Hindi Joke
Shaadi par wife boli:
Aaap mere prannath aur mein apke charno ki dasi.
Shaadi ke baad woh ho Gaya Charandas aur,
woh ho gayi prano ki pyaasi.
Poor Wife Joke
Wife: Shadi ke pehle to tum mujhe rof gift diya karte they,
ab kyun nahi dete?
Husband: Machhali pakdne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai!
Pati Patni Joke in Hindi
Patni: Kaash tum aise SMS hote jise
Main Zindagi bhar save karke rakhti!
Pati: Air kaash tum
aisi ringtone hoti jise
main har hafte badal sakta.
Hindi Stupid husband Joke
Wife: Main galti se khane ke saath rumal bhi kha gai
Husband: Konu baat nahi, apna bachcha aayega to "pagdi" pehan ke aayega!
Another Husband Vs. Wife Joke in Hindi
Husband apni Wife se (suhagraat ko):
Darling apna chand sa chehra to dikaho...
Chehra dekte hi husband bola:
Arey tumhare chehre par to kale dhabbe or gadde hai,
tumhare maa baap ne mujhe dhoka diya hai.
Wife: Darlin nayi khojo se chand ka yahi roop samne aaya hai.
Stupid Biwi Joke
Achii aur buri biwi mein kya farq hai?
Answer: Kya matlab?
Biwiyaan achii bhi hoti hai kya?!
Biwi Vs. Sali Joke
Biwi aur saali main kon zyada achi hoti hai?
Answer: Saali behtar hai.
Kaash woh biwi ke bagair mil sakti.
Watch Vs. Wife Joke
Whats the diff btween Watch and Wife?
Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur
doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jati hai
Hindi Joke
Wife: Agar main mar jaun to tum kya karoge?
Husband: Shayad main mar jaunga.
Wife: Kyon?
Husband: Kabhi kabhi zyada kushi janleva hoti hai.
Biwi Hindi Joke
Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha.
Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje,
jor se barish start ho gayi.
Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gay!
Marriage Broker Joke
Marriage Broker: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Man: Mujhe chand jaisi biwi chahiye,
jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
Another Husband and Wife Hindi Joke
Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa.
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji?
Husband: Aise jaise Bhagwan Vishnu shesh naag ki Godh mein lete hon.
Husband, Wife and Beggar Joke
A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
“Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…”












Funny husband Wife Hindi Joke
Patni:-sharab peen eke baad kya tumhe mera naam bhi yaad nahin rehta?
Pati:-pee lene ke baad to main har gam bhool jata hoon,meri jaan.

Nai nai car chalana sikhi biwi:aaj hum car se jaenge aur car main chalaungi.
Pati:-kon nahin,jaenge car main aur aaenge akhbaar main.
Pati patni College Joke
     Patni – Collage ke bare me tumhara koi bura anubhav hai?
    Pati – Han, Tumhari aur meri paheli mulakat college me he to hui thi.
Pati patni Sms Joke
Patni:- main tumse jo kuch bhi kahti hu tum ek kaan se sunkar doosre se nikaal dete ho.
Pati:-aur main tumse kuch bhi kahta hu to tum dono kaan se sunkar muh se nikaal deti ho.
Funny Pati patni Joke
Pati:-main jeevan main aaj jo kuch bhi bana hoon,apne aap bana hoon.
Patni:-lo, main aaj tak bekar hi bhagwaan ko kosti rahi.
Pati patni Sms
Patni:-kyon jab main moti hojaaungi,tab bhi tum mujhe aise hi pyaar karoge?
Pati:-bilkul nahin, maine sirf such dukh main saath dene ka vaada kiya tha.
Pati Patni Joke
patni : suno ji, bus me aapko logo neitna kyon mara?
pati : Are mera ek photo bus main ek aurt ke pair ke niche gir gaya tha aur mene kaha
madam zara saree uper kijiye photo lena hai….
Hindi Joke about Husband Wife
Pati:-aaj main sabha pati banunga.
Patni:-khabardaar jo aap mere alawa kisi aur ke pati bane.
Pati patni Hindi Joke
pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain.
patni: Kyonji ! kya Aapke dost chura lenge?
pati: are Nahin, who apna saaman pehchaan lenge.
Hindi Husband Wife Joke
patni: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon!
pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon
Cute wife joke
     patni: “Aapne pichle saal salgireh pe mujhe lohay ka bed diya tha, Iss baar aapka kya iraada hai?”
pati: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”
Funny husband Wife Sms
Patni: -suno ji,aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
pati: -mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat bahot pasand hai.
Funny Cute wife sms Joke
Pati :- main tumhare saath kuch bhi share kar sakta hu.
Patni:-chalo phir bank account se start karte hain.
Funny Wife Sms
Pati:-mere mrne ke baad tumhe mere jaisa doosra aadmi nahin milega.
Patni:- tumhe kisne keh diya, ki main doosra aadmi tumhare jaisa chahti hoon.
Husbands joke on marriage
Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi.
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.
Funny relationship Hindi Joke
Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi.
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.
Husband wife joke
Pati:-mani abhi saree ka fanda banakar faansi laga loonga.
Patni:-kya gajab karte ho,nai saree hai.
Funny teasing joke
Pati:-jab bhi main is talwaar ko dekhta hoon to mujhe ladai per jaane ka mann karta hai.
Patni:-to phir jaate kyon nahin?
Pati:-phir unki tooti hui taang yaad aa jaati hai.
Husband wife joke in Hindi
Husband wife ki godi me leta hua tha,
Wife – kesa lag raha he ji?
Husband- jese visnu bhagwan shesnaag ki god me lete ho.
Pati Patni Hindi Joke
Ek makeup sacheton lady ne mritu kaal par uski pati se daka.
Pati:bolo tumhara antim issa keya hai?
Patni:mere marne ke bad meri sundar tasbir akhbar pe chapne par mere age math  likhna.
Pati:kiun?
Patni:kiun ki log ye jan jayega ke meine budhi ho gaya tha.
Marriage Joke Hindi
Husband:  Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein pagal ho jaaunga.

Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey na ?

Husband:  Pagal ka kya hai, o kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Cat and Wife Joke
Santa banta  Se Puchha Ki-Tum agli  Janam Me Kya Ban’na chaho gi?

banta-” A Billi”
Why?

Because  Meri Wife Sirf billi Se Hi Darti Hai
Marriage Joke in Hindi
kya larki thi...
Shohar: Kal mere khuab main ek larki aai thi,
Wah! kya larki thi.

Bibi: Akeli he aai hogi?

Shohar: Tumko kese pata:

Bibi: Uska husband mere khuab main
tha.
Marriage Joke
Pyar b ajab shay he

Maa se payar hota hai to Ebadat
Baap se payar hota hai  to Muqadas
Bhai se payar hota hai  to Aqidat
Didi  se payar hota hai ho to Farz
&
Wife  se payar  hota hai  to
sab kehte hen k SALA BIWI ka GHULAM H     hain
Husband and Wife
Wife:  Ma bachunga nahi  Marr jaongi...

Husband   : Mein bhi Marr jaon ga!

Wife :  Mein to Bimaar hoon isleya marr jaungi  tum kyon maro gaey ?

Husband :  Mein itni Khushi Bardasht nahi kar sakta !
Marriage
Beta papa ko pucha: papa sadi kana ma kitna  kharch hota hai
Papa na bola : mujee pata nahi hay beta !
May abibhi  uska lia pay karta hoo .
Hindi Marriage Joke
Shaadi karne ki baad aur shaadi karne ki aage

1. tumhare baat kokil ki tarah hai.
dhat,kan ki kach me ghanor ghanor nahi karna

2. biswas karo, meine tumko bina nahi reh parunga.
har baat me tum tumhari bap ki baari jane ke baat nahi karna, jao na tumko koun rokha hai?

3. tumko liee maine hajar saal bachna parunga.
uff, tumhare sansar mein mere jiban ekbare biss ho gaya.
 
Aapko dhund raha hai

4. future ki baat soch kar ek  moment par aap crore paysa kharcha kar sakti hai.
Aapko dhund raha hai Political dall ne(Aapko election par khare karne ke liee).

5. onle ek abul biri ke liee aap ek aadmi ki hatma kar sakti hai.
Aapko dhund raha hai RAB(dunia ki narak dekhne ke liee).

6. aapki do haat mein kharach karna paroge?
Aapko dhund raha hai ladkione.

7. keyaa aap ek palak par jo vi opokarm karna parte hai?
Aapko dhund raha hai Police force.
Hindi Husband and Wife Marriage Joke
Bibi:kyeaa hua tumko aj bohot khus najar a raha hai?
Pappu:nahi kuch nahi. Tum bahar ja rahe ho iss lyee
Bibi: uss lyee tumhare khus hone se kyeaa irada hai.
Pappu: meri ek dawat hai meine vi uha jaunga. Tum agar bahar jaoge tab maine bahar jane parunga na!!!
Funny Wife Joke
Bibi:jiban par maine koi punno kia tha us liee tumhare tarah pati mila.
Swami:aur mere liee wo paap ki sasti hai
Hilarious Husband and Wife
Pati:kaha ja rahe ho?

Patni: Jahannam par.

Pati: Thank you,jao.
Funny Pati and Patni
Pati:mehman ko khana dia magar chamach kiu nahi dia?

Patni:voi paa karke.

Pati:kasko voi pa kar.

Patni:usko chamach hai ye jodi samajh jayee iss lyee.
Funny Hindi Pati Patni Joke
Patni:tumhare paas koi arman pesh kar gaya to tum bola paysa nahi hai.

Pati:keyaa nahi di tumko? To jo tumko dena parega uski paas jao na.
Pati Patni Joke
Patni:meine Babaki ghar mein kitni sukhi tha,tumare ghar a kar meri jiban ses ho gaya.

Pati: keyaa hua?

Patni:keyaa nahi hua? Tumhre pas meine ek diamond ki neckless chaha magar tumhare iss month par pocket khali…
Funny Husband and Wife Marriage Joke
Ek din ek busstand me vul kar yatri log gaitlok samajh kar
Local gari me uth gaya, gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay
Yatri:keya hua bhai gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay kiu?
Helper: yeh to local hai..
Yatri: local aur gatelock yeh to tum log dega us lie yatri log samassa mein parega kiun?
Funny Joke in Hindi
Swami: basar rat mein uski wife ko 100 rs. De kar sorry bola, mujhe bhul ho gaye, sab samay deta hu to habit ho gaya.
Patni: tum to mujhko rupee de rahe ho, mein to mere cousin ko free dia.
Hindi Husband and Wife Joke
Husband ek rat kagaj mein likh kar rakha 7 am par mujhe jara dak dena
Wife woh dekh kar likha: already 7am. Baj gaya.


Comedy Hindi Joke
Ladki ki baba: to tum meri jamai hona chahte ho?

Ladka: thik aysa nahi hai. Ye chara meri aur koi rasta nahi tha,iss lyee.
Funny and Hilarious Hindi Joke
Ladka:maine tumhare boyfriend banna chahta hu,tumhara koi apatti hai?

Ladki:are keyaa bolti ho. Tum to bohot funny ho.iss liee tum mere bohot assa friend ho. Mere boyfriend Sakib ye sunega to bohot moja payega.




Office Joke in Hindi
Ladka: aaj tumhare mann itni khush hai keyaa baat hai? Statistic office pe gayaa tha keya?

Ladki: aur tel marne ki jarurat nahi hai. Jao parlar ki bill bhar ke aao.
Joke
Ladki ke bap:Nargis tum laut aao,tumhare maa bahut bemar hai.

Ladke ki pati:Nargis tum kabhi nahi laut aana,tumko le ane par baba ki ye chal hai.
Exam Joke
Ladka:meine basa ja kar jara dhayanse parata hu, mere kach aapki beti parega to wo A+ paega

Ladki ki baap: meri beti ko tum parane ke badle tum payar sikhaya us liee wo aajvi S.S.C pass nahi kar paya

Ladka:wo to uski galti hai,maine to payar se paraya…
Short Joke in Hindi
Ladki:humko aankh duto na ho kar ek ho to keyaa hota tha?

Ladka: Shanti se aankh marna jata tha.
Hilarious Joke
Ladka:agar tum chaho to meine chand se hamari bari bangaonge

Ladki:sorry, admi bina kisi patang par meri koi interest nahi hai.
Funny Guru Jokes
Ladka: wo sab samay uski cousin ke saath miste hai.

Guru: aap uske doubt karte hai?

Ladka: hu maine karti hu.

Guru: toh thik kia, cousin ke sath milna to doubt ki hi baat hai.



Ladki: wo ekdin mujhe uski flat pe jane ki kehta hai

Guru: keya aap raji  ho gaya?

Ladki:ha, maine sahas kar ke gaya.

Guru: toh thik kia,payar ki tan bol kar ek bat hay.



Ladki: wo ekdin mujhe uski flat pe jane ki kehta hai

Guru: keya aap raji  ho gaya?

Ladki:koi prosno nahi ata

Guru: thik, ajkal desh ki ja obostha. Iss tarah ki ladke ki koi biswas nahi hai.
Phone Joke
Ladki: wo abhi vi phone karti hai

Guru: ap uski phone dharti hai?

Ladki: nahi.

Guru: thik ki, wo apki saath jo kia uski saaja ye hai.
Funny Ladki Joke
Ladki: wo abhi vi phone karti hai

Guru: ap uski phone dharti hai?

Ladki: keya karti maine uski phone ane ki bad sab bhul jata hu.

Guru: tab tum thik kia. Payar to iske kehte hai,dilki aarman sunna parega.
Guru Joke
Ladka: wo sab samay uski cousin ke saath miste hai.

Guru: aap uske doubt karte hai?

Ladka: no no kabhi nahi

Guru: toh thik kia, payar ki bich mein doubt nahi hona parta hai.
Short Hindi Joke
Ladki der se an ke bad ladka bola
Ajki bikal jara der se suru hua.
Hindi Ladka Ladki Joke
Ek ladka ek ladki se is tada offer kadti hai

Ladka: I love u I like u I love u very much meri jaan.

Ladki: baatki andar ektu space dena jara.
Economics Joke
Do ladki aur ek ladka alap kar rahi hai.

1st ladki: Is desh ki economics jhul rahi hai,

2nd ladki: do vag mein vag ho gaya,

Ladka: ko shakt hat mein dharna parega
Joke
Ladka: meine itni mana karne ki bad vi tum cigerett piti ho?Tum janti nahi hai cigarette
Meri dusman hay.

Ladki:janta hu, iss liey dushman ko pura kar rag kar deti hu.
Funny Ladka Ladki Joke
Vul number dial karne se:

Ladka:I love you janu.

Ladki ki maa:oh, really.

Ladka: aaj rat a jao na,pls.
Us samay line kat gaya.

Ladki phone kia aur bola hi janu kayse ho?

Ladka: meine jo bat kia to kissee?
I Love You Hindi Joke
Ladka ek ladki se offer kart waqt

Ladka: I love you.

Ladki: kayse ab soch lia class four ki ek ladki khali hai.
Ladka Ladki Joke
Ek ladka ko kuch log nangto kia aur uski land ke picture akaye aur bola jao

Uha ek ladki betha hai uski kach se attested karke le ao.

Ladka gaya:pls attested ki dijie.

Ladki: maine original copy ke bina attested nahi karungi.
Ladka Ladki Hindi Joke
Moti ladki bade mein du ladka bat kar rahi hai

1st ladka:Uski weight key hoga?

2nd ladka: uski ek pas ki weight jodi 24 kg, to uski dono ki weight 48 kg, plus karo skeletan ki weight.


Comedy Hindi Jokes
Man: Bed majbut banana, Mere BETE ko BAHU k sath sona hai.
Mistri: Aisa Majbut Bed banaunga SARA MOHALLA BAHU k sath SOEGA to bhi nahi tutega..!

Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.


MAA-Beta Apple Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Mengo Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Orange Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai,
Chappal Hi Khayega.


Baith kar apni mehbuba ki zulfo k saye me aisa josh aaya,
wah wah!
Phir..
phir..
Usk Papa ne dekh liya aur I.C.U. me hosh aaya.

Love Aur Arrange Marriage Me Kya Faraq He
Love Marriage Me Aap Apni Girlfriend Se Shadi Karte Hai
Aur
Arrange Marriage Me
Kisi Aur Ki ;-)

Raja or Rani ne fix kiya ki ab baat Mobile se nhi Kabutar se karenge.1 din Rani ne bina khat k kabutar uda diya.Raja bola:
Ye kya?
Rani boli miss call yaar.

Khud ko kar kanjoos itna ki..
har sms bhejne se pehle,
SERVICE CENTER wale khud call kar k puche..
Bata sach me bhejna he ya galti se sent ho gaya tha.
Comedy Hindi Jokes
Ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.”
Dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.”
Murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye
apna figure kharab mat karo.”



Ek aadmi bhagwaan se bola, “india se usa tak pakki sadak banwa dijiye.”
Bhagwan bole, “mushkil hai kuch aur maang lo.” Aadmi bola,
“To phir aap meri biwi ko samajhdaar aur aagyakari bana dijiye.”
Bhagwan bole, “sadak single banana hai ya double.”


Ek naye teacher ne ek bachche se poocha, “is pakshi ke pair dekho aur iska naam batao.
” Bachche ne kaha, “ pata nahin.” Teacher ne kaha, “ Tum fail ho gaye,batao tumhara naam batao.
” Bachche ne kaha “Mere pair dekho aur naam batao”.


ek baar aadmi ne bhagwan se kaha,
“aapne aurat ko itna sundar kyon banaya hai?”
Bhagwan bole,”taki tum unse pyaar kar sako.”
Aadmi bola, “ to phir unhe itna bevkoof kyon banaya hai?”
bhagwan ne jawab diya, “taki wo tumse pyaar kar sake.”


ek aadmi ke paas uske doctor ka phone aaya.
Docor ne kaha, “Mere pass tumhe sunane ke liye ek achchi khabar hai,
aur ek buri khabar hai.pahle kya sunoge?”
aadmi bola, “pahle mujhe achchi khabar suna do.”
Doctor bola, “good news hai ki tumhe marne me 24 ghante baaki hain.”
Aadmi bola, “oh no, aur buri khabar kya hai?”
Doctor bola,”buri khabar ye hai ki ye khabar sunanae ke liye
main tumhe kal phone karna bhool gaya.”


Chota baby- mummy raat ko jab me susu karne gaya to bathroom
Ki light jal gayi,
Mummy- haramjade tu aaj fir freeze me susu kar aaya…!!


Teacher:-MotorCycle k Kitne Tyers Hote hai?
Smart Santa:- 6 Tyre
Teacher(Gusse se): How?
Santa:- 4 Motor k 2 Cycle k!G.M.


College ke first day; Ladka: Tumhara naam kya hai? Ladki: Mujhe sab didi kehte hai.. Ladka: WOW MUJHE SAB JIJAJI KEHTE HAIN!


Teacher- Bataao bachcho jo galat kaam karte hain wo kaha jate hain??
Student- sharmate huye bola sir..
Manuabhaan tekri, EKAANT park, Chinar park, MAYUR park...
Hindi Jokes
Mareez:-doctor aap ye phoolo ki mala kyon laaye hain?
Doctor:-ye mera pahla operation hai,agar safal hua to mere liye nahin to tuhare kaam aaegi.



Maalik:-are raamu aaj tumne roti main kitna saare ghee laga diya..
Naukar:-are saahab maaf karna shayad galti se maine apni roti aapko de di hai,



Saahukaar:-tumne apne udhaar ke paise abhi tak nahin wapas kiye…
chalo mamla beech main suljha lete hai…
tumhare udhaar ka aadha paisa main bhoolne ke liye taiyaar hoon..
Karzdaar:-manzoor:-baaki aadha main bhoolne ko taiyaar hoon.


Ek ladka ek ladki ke saath baitha tha,
doosre din doosri ladki ke saath baitha tha,
teesre din teesri ladki ke saath baitha tha…
is kahani se shiksha milti hai:-ladkiyan badal jaati hain,ladke nahin.



Ek aadmi librarian se:-mujhe aatmhatya karni hai.kya aap mujhe aatmhatya per koi achchi book de sakte hain.
Librarian:-nahin bilkul nahin,mujhe pata hai aap mujhe wo wapas nahin denge.



Teacher:-bachcho kabhi sharab mat peena,jhooth mat bolna,kabhi nonveg mat khana,kabhi ladki ko mat chhedna.aur apne desh ke liye jaan de dena.
Ek bachcha:-de denge sir,sala aisi zindagi se to marna achcha hai.



Ek jagah sangeet ki mahfil chal rahi thi.ek gayak ne jaise hi gana gaya ,
sab bole , “once more”.gayak ne gana phir suna diya. Sab log phir se bole ,
“once more”.gayak nephir se ganae suna diya.abki baar phir sab bole ,
“once more”.gayak ne kaha,”mere pyare sunne walo,
main aapka mere liye pyaar samajhta hu,
per meri bhi kuch maryada hai,main itni baar nahin ga sakta.”
Tabhi mahfil main se ek aadmi bola,”jab tak tum thik se nahin gaaoge,
tumko gana padega.”
Comedy Jokes in Hindi
   teacher:-bahcho aaykar,bikrikar,bhoomikar se milta jolta koi aur shabd batao.
bachcha:-sir ek nahin teen shabd sune hain,sunil gawaskar,sachin tendulkar aur dilip vangaskar.

ek chhota bachcha doosre bachche se:-agar din ko suraj nahin nikala to kya hoga?
doosra bachcha:-bijli ka bill bad jaaega.

    manager ne aanewale se poocha, "kya tumhe pata nahin ki aagya ke bina andar aana mana hai."
aane wala, "janab, main aagya lene ke liye hi andar aaya hoon."

adhyaapak:-bachcho batao ki doodh ko kharab hone se bachane ke liye kya karne chaahiye?
sonu:-ji sir use pi lena chahiye.

Ek aadmi:-kyon bachche yeh gend tumhari hai?
Bachcha:- uncle kya isse koi sheesha toota hai?
Aadmi:-nahin to..
bachcha:- haan to phir meri hai.


   Naukraani:-malkin aap mujh per bekaar hi shak kar rahi hai,main aapko kaise samjhaau mujhe to shabd nahin mil rahe hai.
Malkin:- tujhe shabd nahin mil rahe hain,aur mujhe 1 thaali,5 katori aur 2 drzan chammach nahin mil rahi hai.

Ek padosan Ne Sunita Se Kaha:- are sunita gajab Ho Gaya.dekh to Pados Ki do Auraten teri Saas ki pitaai kar Rahi Hain.
Sunita padosan Ke Sath chat per Aayi Aur chhupkar pitaai Dekhane Lagi. padosan Ne Pucha, Aap Madad Karane Nahi Jayengi ?
Sunita - Nahi nahin do Hi bahot Hain
Hilarious Hindi Jokes
Teacher:-batao baad aur sukhe main kya fark hai?
Mantra ka beta:- sir zamin aasmaan ka.
Teacher:-batao who kaise?
Mantra ka beta:- sir, sukhe main mere papa jeep se daura karte hain aur baad main helicopter main.


Ek aalsi se uske dost ne kaha:-suna hai tum faoj main bharti hone ja rahe ho.
Aalsi Dost:-are nahin,mujhe to ye bhi nahin pata ki badook ka muh kidhar karna hai?
Pehla dost:-koi baat nahin, kahin bhi rakhoge, desh ka bhala hi hoga.


Do abhinetao ke bachche aapas main baat kar rahe the.
Pahle bachcha:-pata hai,mere papa kal nai mummy laye hain ,wo bahot achchi hai.
Doosra bachcha:- pata hai pata hai, pichle saal who meri mummy reh chuki hain.


Pahli ladki:- maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main 25 saal ki nahin ho jaati main shaadi nahin karungi.
Doosri ladki:-aur maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main shaadi nahin kar leti 25 ki nahin houngi.


Traffic police:tumhara scooter itna uchhal kyon raha hai?
Scooter chaalak:-huzur, scooter nahin uchhal raha hai. Mujhe hichkiyaan aa rahi hain.

Judge:-pichi baar bhi tum 500 rupyee churaane ke ilzaam main pakde gaye the.
Chor:-huzur,500 rupyee s kitne din kaam chalaya ja sakta hai?


Student:-sir, kya aap mujhe us kaam ke liye bhi saza denge jo main nahin kiya hai?
Adhyapak:-nahin nahin,bilkul nahin.
Student:-sir, maine aaj ka homework nahin kiya hai.


Mareez:-doctor ,mujhe ek serious bimari hai,main jo kuch bhi bolta hoon bhool jata hoon.
Doctor:-aapko ye bimaari kab se hai?
Mareez:-kaun si bimaari?


  Ek aurat:-jab tumhara talak hua tha tab to tumhara ek hi bachcha tha.ab 3 kaise?
Doosri:-who kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the.
Funny Comedy Jokes in Hindi
Wo konsa 1 mazak he Jo salo pehle b studnts karte the,
aaj b karte hai or qayamat tak karte rahenge
?
?
Bahut masti ho gayi yar
ab Kal Se Seriously Padai karnge


Ek Murgi Market Gayi aur..
Kaha- Ek Anda Dena..
Dukandar-Tum Anday Ka Kya Karogi??
Murgi- Mere Husband Ne Kaha 2Rs. Ke Liye Apna Figure Kharab Mat Karo.


Teacher-tum bde hoker kya karoge
Student-shadi..
Teacher-nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge
Student-dulha..
Teacher-oho,i mean bade hoker kya hasil karoge
student-dulhan!

1 dukhi Aadmi bola-Aisi zindagi se maut achi.
Achnak Yamdut aaya aur bola-"Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm h"
Aadmi-Lo Batao,
Ab Insan Mazak b nahi kar sakta.


PITA:AGAR TU IS BAAR BHI FAIL HO GAYA TO MUJHE PITA MAT KEHNA.
KUCH DIN BAD
PITA:KYA HUA TERE RESULT KA?
SON:SORRY YAAR RAM PRASAD MAI FAIL HO GAYA.
Hindi Funny Comedy Jokes
Bahut der k baad train chali.Muslim bola_ya Ali ! Hindu bola_ jai bajrang bali.Ek sardar bola_kya Ali,Kya Bali?Ullu k pattho, Train to baju wali Chali

1 shrabi roz SHIV mandir pe sir tekta tha.
1 din pujaari ne SHIV ke jagah GANESH murti rakhi,
Shraabi aya dekha bola- Chhotu papa se bolna main aya tha.


Premika: Aisa Letter Likh Sajna, Meri Umar Beet Jaye Padhne Me....
Premi:(!=!0!>XE~?1!!:E'&A?>#^^E"!$>,'>,'E=*?#:P(+>!*"@&= Le Padhle.....!



A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
isme 1 missing hai
find it...
2 times padhte ho
sharam nahi aati ?
ABCD me 1 kaha aata hai?
Hindi Comedy Jokes
Old : pehla pehla pyar hai, aayi bahar hai, aaja more sajan tera
Intazar hai.
New : Duja teja pyar hai, dil bekarar hai, aaja mere sajana verna
Chautha taiyaar hai…!


Boy- Bus,train or ladki ek jesi hoti hai,ek jati hai to dusri aa jati hai
Girl- Taxi, Autoriksha or ladke ek jaise hote hai, ek bulao 4 chale
Aate hai..!

Ladka ladki ko dekhne gaya,
unko baat krne k liye akele bitha diya
girl-(darte hue)bhaiya aap kitne bhai-behen ho
Boy-abhi tk to 3 the,ab 4 ho gye.
Hindi Comedy Jokes
Ladka : jaaneman is dil me chali aao
Ladki : chapal nikali kya?
Ladka : pagli, ye koi mandir nahi hai, aise hi aa jao.



Chayewala – bholi si surat aankho me masti dur khadi sarmaye haye haye!!
Ladki- kali si surat hatho me ketli dur khade chilaye chaye-chaye


Babu apni girlfriend se- darling kal ghar par aa jana koi bhi nahi hoga!
Jab ladki ghar par aati hai to sachmuch koi nahi tha.


Ladka- kya me tumhara hath tham lu?
Ladki – No thanks ! ye itna bhari nahi he!!

Kutte………kaminey………..matlabi………….dhokebaaz……….
Ullu ke pathe………besharam……..baimaan……….kapti………
Aise logo se hamesha door rehna !!


Bilu MC ki hotal me- are bhai kab se wait kar raha hu,
Khana abhi tak nahi aaya?
Mc – sar khana to char din se bana rakha hai bas garam ho raha hai!!

Pitaji:- itne kam no. ? do thapad marne chahiye!
Tinku:- ha papa,chalo maine us mastarji ka ghar dekha hai!!


Teacher – bolo A for Apple ,
Student – A for apple,
Teacher – jor se bolo,
Student – jai mata dee!!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
He he he he he he he he he he he ……
Kuch nahi bas tumhari sakal yaad aa gayi….
Ha ha ha ha ha!!


Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
A. jab koi ladki shaadi se pehle pregnant ho jaye, aur uski maa
Kahe “hey bhagwan ye tune kya kiya”.


Maine tujhe dekha…dekhta hi gaya…dekhta hi gaya…..
Aur fir…ek din mujhe…
….Chashma…lag gaya!!


Hindi Joke
Ek chor amir lok ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Trunk pe likha tha “Trunk ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 156 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, trunk khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”
Jate jate chor us lok se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!
Kanjoos Joke
Babu market jata hai underwear kharid karne.
Babu: Yeh kitne ka hai?
Dokandar: Rs 600.
Kanjoos Babu: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.
Funny Hindi Joke
Rubel gora tha. Jab uska ladka paida hua toh woh kala tha.
Tab Rubel apne patni ke paas jata hai aur pucha hai, “Yaar main bhi gora tha tum bhi gori thi to bachcha kaise kala paida ho gaya?”
Aur pher uski bibi ne jawab diya, Darling mein vi Hot tum vi hot sayad “Bachcha Jal gaya hoga.”
Funny Joke
Parul (naukrani) ne Parul se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.
Parul Naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chup chap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne pucha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?
Parul: Nahi uske liye teen hi kafi hai.
Shaadi Joke
Shadi ke bad dusre din Parul apni dady se: Meri unse ladai ho gayie!
Dady: Shadi mein jhagde toh hote rehte hai fikar mat karo.
Parul: Woh toh thik hai par ab “LAASH” ka kya karu
Dumb and Dumber Joke
Rubel: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Liton: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Rubel: Kya naam hai uska?
Liton: Wo Bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”
Baap Beta Joke
Bap: a beta jara bol to kis boys cricket team captan larki?
Beta: a kase hoga larka team main captan larki?? A nehi ho sakta.
Bap: abe hain . jara soch ke bata.
Beta: mujhe to bakwas lagta he.
Bap: Srilanka ki us team ki captan “Mahila Joyabardhana”
Very Dumb Joke in Hindi
Rubel bara dukhi tha!
Ek dost ne us se pucha, “Kiu, tension mein ho?”
Rubel: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh Rupeey diye thay, ab saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!
Dumb Joke in Hindi
Rubel Kaun Banega Crorepati Main:
Question: What is you father name?
Rubel: Plz Options?
a. Dilawar
b. Changez
c. Feroz
d. Sultan
Rubel: Life line-50/50
a. Dilawar
c. Feroze
Pathan: Audience Vote.
75% Dilawar
25% Feroze
Rubel: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”
Kisse call karengy?
Rubel: Apne baap dilawar ko!
Cinema Hall Joke
Cinema hall Me Liton Ke Bagal Me Baithi 2 Aurate Lagatar Apas Me Baate Kiye Ja Rahi Thi. Thodi Der Tak To Liton Sabra Kiye Baitha Raha Lekin Fir Junjalaa Kar Bola- “Maaf Kijiyega, Mujhe Apki Baatchit Ke Chalte Film ka Koi Dialogue Sunaai Nahi Pad Raha Hai. Aap…..”
“To Hum bhi Kaha Aap ko suna Rahe Hai, Hamari Private Batchit chal Rahi Hai.”
Unme Se Anita Ne Munh Banaate Huye Kaha.
Funny Sports Joke in Hindi
Keya bolti hai tu,tu to iss para ka sera striker hai.
:nahi, maine iss elaka ki sabse baaje goalkeeper hu.
Hindi Joke
Suna hai tum club se daak paya ho?
: ha, thik suna.
:tumhara naam par kitni goal likha hai?
Beta Baba Joke
Diary par beta ki number dekh kar Baba hotash tha,iss tarah number pane ekhi tarika hai belt se marna.
-baba tum thik bola,besi karke pitna parega. Iss tarah number dene ka ye ek tarika hai.
Funny Joke
Ek admi police se bola kuch der pehle mera watch,mobile hijack ho gaya.
-app chillay kiun nahi help ke lyee.
-kiun ki, agar meine chillay to wo meri sona ki daat dekh leta.
Crazy Joke in Hindi
Matlab saab aap yeh age par aur ek santan kiun leta hai?
chup karo, member ki vi 11 ladka hai mere vi 11, ek ijjat ki bapar hai.
Short Hindi Joke
Maine khal katne par kumir anna chahta hu kiun?
Kiun ki bidesh par kumir ki bohot dam hai.
Dumb Hindi Joke
Agar admi ki paa nahi hota tha to keya hota tha.
Gari par break nahi hota tha.
Silly Hindi Joke
Nakshatra ki alo kiun mit mit kar jalta hai?
Voltage ki karan par,uha voltage kam hai.
Girl Boy Hindi Joke
:ladke se pehle ladkio ki saadi ho jata hai kiun?
:kiun ki ladki log ladke se pehle hai.
Two Men Funny Hindi Joke
1st person: mosquito ne hamari rakt khata hai magar neta log kya khata hai?
2nd person:neta log mosquito marne ke lyee paysa mar khata hai.
Funny Pappu Joke
Do log baat karti hai samaj ki halchal ki bare me,
:hamari jiban ki value kaya hai?
:aaj kal 100 Rs. Mein vi khuni paoa jata hai,so hamari value hai 100 Rs.
Two Men Hindi Joke
Do log baat karti hai samaj ki halchal ki bare me,
:hamari jiban ki value kaya hai?
:aaj kal 100 Rs. Mein vi khuni paoa jata hai,so hamari value hai 100 Rs.
Baap Beta Joke
Bap: hamari protiva kiun chupa rehta hai?
Beta:kiun ki sabne protivaban nahi ho jay is lyee.
Rickshawala Hindi Joke
Ek rickshawala bohot khata hai us lyee usko petuk kehta hai magar “Sher e Bangla” vi bohot khata tha magar usko hum kehta hai “Vojon Roshik”.
Hindi Joke
Maramari karke kapre cirne ke par din:
:ki vai,kiun daur raha ho?
:meri daurne par vi tu khota deta hai,rokh aj vi tera shirt chir dunga.
Pappu Joke Hindi
Ek admi ne pappu se ask kya ke usne nahane ke waqt kaun se dik se mukh rakh kar suru karega
Pappu:tumhare kapra se suru karo.
Jail Joke in Hindi
Two friend gossips
1 Friend said :  yaar Jail ko “Hawalaat” kyu kehte hy..?
.
.

2 Friend said:   Kyu k jail me khane ma  sirf
“Hawa” ur “Laat” hi milti hy-----      haahaahaa


Santa reeee Joke
ek bus accident hua
banta:haye mera paoon
santa :chilla kyun raha hai dekh vo mar gaya hai phirbhi chup-chap leta hai
Santa Banta
·  A to hona hi tha
Santa:
Yaar sunna hai ke  teri Bibi ghar chor ka  bhag gai?
or tuna ak larki ko sadi karli----
Isa ab Tera kya kehna hy?
.
.
Banta:
Bas yaar kya kaho
'A to hona hi tha'
 
Santa Banta
Santa:
Yaar sunna hai ke  teri Bibi ghar chor ka  bhag gai?
or tuna ak larki ko sadi karli----
Isa ab Tera kya kehna hy?
.
.
Banta:
Bas yaar kya kaho
“A to hona hi tha ”
Santa Banta
A to hona hi tha
Santa:
Yaar sunna hai ke  teri Bibi ghar chor ka  bhag gai?
or tuna ak larki ko sadi karli----
Isa ab Tera kya kehna hy?
.
.
Banta:
Bas yaar kya kaho
“A to hona hi tha”
Santa Banta Papa Joke
Santa: Yaar Tumne college Ana Q Chhor Diya?

Banta: Yaar Actually Mere
papa  Kehta hai Ke
ak Jagah Bar Bar Jane Se
Izzat Kam Ho Jati Hai


santa banta
santa banta double deker bus mein bhete the toh banta niche bheta that aur santa upper toh banta bola "are check kar ke aata hun ki santa ko mazza aa raha hai ki nahi" woh gya toh dekha ki santa ek kone mein bheta hai toh woh gya aur bola "are santa kya hua tu aise chipuk ke kyun bheta hai" toh santa bola are tere pass toh niche driver bhi hai mere toh woh bhi nahi hai
Submitted by vaibhav on 17-Apr-2010
Santa Banta Comedy
Santa verma: marte hue aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Banta sharma: Birla white.
Santa verma: kyu?
Banta: kyuki is cement me jaan hoti hai.
Hindi Santa Banta Jokes
Santa ko ek bar banta ne khane per bulaya.
Santa jab banta ke ghar aaya to ghar per lock laga tha aur likha tha
"dekha kaisa ullu banaya."
Santa ne hoshiyari dikhai aur neeche likh diya
"main to aaya hi nahin tha."





Santa maisur palace ghoomne gaya. Tourist guide use bola,
"sir is kursi per mat baithiye, ye tipu sultan ki hai." Santa bola,
"are yaar tum chinta mat karo,wo aaega to main uth jaaunga."





Santa ne ek maachis ki tili jalai woh nahin jali,
doosri jalai who bhi nahin jali,teesri jalai to wo jal gayi,
santa ne use jaldi se bujha diya aur aur bola,
"mere kaam ki hai,ise rakh leta hoon."





Kanjoos santa ka ek rupyaa chat se neeche gir gaya.
Santa neeche pahuncha to use rupyaa nahin mila.
Kyon? Kyonki santa rupye se pahle neeche pahunch gaya tha.







Santa ko koi mobile per pareshaan karta tha.
pareshaan hokar santa ne naya number le liya.
Number activate karke us aadmi ko message bheja,
"maine to who number hi band kar diya,ab kise pareshaan karega?"





Kanjoos santa ka achanak chat se pair fisal gaya aur wo neeche girne laga.
jaise hi teesri manzil per uske kichen ki khidki ke samne se guzra, apni biwi se bola,
"mere liye aaj ka khana mat banana."





Santa jain: murga kesa diya.
Shopkeeper: Rs. 80 Rs. 50 Rs. 10
Santa jain: Rs. Ka itna sasta kyu?
Shopkeeper: Saab isse aids hai.
Santa jain: de do khana hai, shaadi thodi karni hai!!
Santa and Banta Jokes
Santa ki girlfriend ka message aaya,
"I miss u."
Santa ne jawab bheja, "I mister u."




Santa:-meri dictionary main namumkin shabd nahin hai.
Banta:-are yaar dictionary kharidne se pahle check kar lena chahiye na.




Santa:-agar kabhi neend na aaye to kya karna chahiye.
Banta:-are neend ka intzaar karne se to achcha hai ki so hijana chahiye.





Santa:-ye chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Banta:-aatnhatya karne ke liye.
Santa:-to isme ubaalne ki kya zaroorat hai?
Banta:-are yaar kahin infection na ho jaae.





Santa:-are yaar banta tere daant kaise toot gaye?
Banta:-hasne ke karan.
Santa:-who kaise?
Banta:-are yaar main ek pehalwan ko dekh kar han pada.





Banta:-santa tere ghar se mujhe hamesha hansne ki aawaz aati rahti hai.
Santa:-are yaar, meri biwi jab mujhe joote se marti hai, agar mujhe lag jaata hai to who hansti hai aur agar nahin lagta to main hansta hoon.





Santa ke ghar ladki hui .ab use chinta ho gai ki uski beti badi hogi to ladke chedge.
Santa:-per maine iska intzaam kar liya hai.
Banta:-kya?
Santa:-maine apni beti ka naam didi rakh diya hai.







Santa police wale se:-sir kal tv ke alawa mere ghar ka sara samaan chori ho gaya.
Policewala:-to tv kyon chori nahin hua?
Santa:-ji sir tv to main dekh raha tha na.
Santa aur Banta
Santa ek baar blood ke bare main kitaab pad raha tha.
Banta:- ye blood ki kitaab kyon pad raha hai?
Santa :-kal mera blood test hai,to test ki taiyaari kar raha hoon





Santa :-jab main paida hua tha to mere papa ne 51 banduke chalwai thi.
Banta:-kamaal hai,sabka nishana chook gaya.





Santa:-yaar banta kal mei biwi mere ek dost ke saath bhaag gayi.
Banta:-tujhko to bahot yaad aati hogi uski ,phir?
Santa:-haan yaar …bahot achcha dost tha mera.





Santa:-banta tum kyon ro rahe ho?
Banta:-dekho ye haathi mar gaya.
Santa:-ohh,kya wo tumne pala tha.
Banta :-nahin,per mujhe iski kabr khodne ka kaam mila hai.





Santa ek dukaan wale se sheesha khareedne gaya,"is sheeshe ki majbooti ki kya guarantee hai?"
Dukaan wala:-ye sheesha yadi aap 100th manzil se fekenge, to ye 99 manzil tak bhi nahin tutega.
Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi
Santa:-mere padosi ka bachcha gum gaya.
Banta :- achcha to tumne kya kiya?
Santa:-maine unse kaha ki google per search kar lo.






Santa:-sher ka pinjra khula reh jaae to kya ho sakta hai?
Banta:-sher chori ho sakta hai.





Santa :- ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyaan thi. Log use radhe shyam kahte the. Batao kyon?
Banta:-kyon?
Santa:-uska naam radhe shyam tha.




Banta:-meri aadat hai,main job hi kaam karta hoon usme doob jata hoon.
Santa:-to tum kuaa kyon nahin khodte?




Santa:-mujhe ek ajeeb si bimaari ho gayi hai,jab meri biwi bolti hai to mujhe kuch sunai nahin deta.
Banta:-ye bimari nahin tujh per bhagwan ki meharbaani ho gayi hai.
Santa Banta Jokes
Santa:-mere pitaji bahot samajhdaar hain,jab bhi maachis kharidte hain poori 50 teeli gin kar dekhte hain.
Banta:-mere pitaji un se zyada samjhdaar hain,wo 50 ki 50 teeli jalakar dekhte hain.





Santa :-kya baat hai aaj tumhaare mobile per bade pyaar bhare message aa rahe hain.
Banta:-kuch nahin yaar,aaj main apni biwi ka mobile utha laya hoon.






Santa:-achcha bhaarat main kitne mahapurush paida hue hain?
Banta:-bhaarat main mahapurush kya koi purush bhi paida nahin hua,sab bachche hi paida hue hain.





Santa:-daaku aur neta main kya fark hota hai?
Banta:-daaku pahle lootta hai phir jai jata hai,jabki neta pahle jail jata hai phir lootta hai.







Santa :-maine doodhwale se pyaaz ke daam pooche to usne kaha pahle 5 rupyee do phir bataunga?
Banta:-achcha phir kya hua?
Santa:-pahle 5 rupyee do phir bataunga.
Funny Hindi Santa Banta Jokes
santa Ne Mendhak Se Poocha Ki Sardaroon Main Dimag Hota Hai Kya?

Mendak :-Nahi hota,Aur Mendhak Pani Main Kood Gaya.

Santa:-are Isme aatmhatya Karane ki kya zaroorat thi?





santa aur banta ek baar kabristan main baithkar baat kar rahe the.

santa: banta, dekho ye murde yahan kitne araam se apni apni kabro mein so rahe hai.

Itne main Saare murde khare ho gaye aur bole: Kyun na soye, yeh jaga apni jaan de ke hasil kee hai..!





Santa:-nashe aur biwi main kya antar hai?

Banta:-subah hote-hote nasha gayab ho jata hai,lekin biwi hamesha sir per sawar rehti hai.





Santa:-babaji mujhe koi aisa kaam batao jisme log apna kaam khud kare aur paise mujhe de.

Babaji:-tum sulabh shauchalay main naukari kar lo.





Santa:-banta achcha ye batao agar duniya main sabhi moorkh jaldi mar jaae to kya hoga?

Banta:-per tum pahle ye batao ki tumhe marne ki itni jaldi kyon hai?
Hindi Santa Banta Jokes
Santa:-kya aapne hi kal mere ladke ko doobne se bachaya tha.

Banta:-haan haan , per baar baar aap meri taarif mat kariye.

Santa:-achcha to ye bataiye mere ladke ki topi kahan gayi





Santa: are Maa ,ek achchi khabar hai . Hum 2 se 3 Ho Gaye Hai!

santa ki Maa: achha jaldi bata , beta Hua hai ya beti?

Santa: are nahi Maa, tumhaari bahu ne Doosri Shaadi karli !!




santa ek party mein gaya aur usne waha 10 butter naan kha liye. thodi der baad toilet mein pet bhagwan se prarthna kar raha tha ki,

"Hay bhagwan ya to aap jaan nikal do ya naan nikal do!"




santa hotel manager se:-jaldi chalo meri biwikhidki se kood kar jaan dena chahti hai.
Manager:-isme main kya kar sakta hoon sir.
Santa:-are,khiski nahin khul rahi hai..




Santa : Yaar Main Jis Ladki Ko Chahta tha,Usne shaadi kar li hai.

banta: Tumne Usko Bataya Ki tumhara Chacha Karorepati Hai.

santa: Bataya Tha,tabhi to usne mere chacha se shadi kar li hai


Funny Doctor Cinema Joke
Agar Doctor na film banane start kar di to film ka nam hoga-

Paralyzed ho na ho
Hum blood de chukka sanam
Mari yaar ke endscopy hai
Kaho na Diabeteshai
Hash ap hamara patient hoti
Pregnant banaya apna
Kabhi ICU Kabhi CCU
Hamara stethoscope apke pas hai
Operation to hona hi tha
Phir haddi fracture
Om surgery Om
Hypertension for you.
Hindi Doctor Joke
Patient  Doctor  ko bola --> Doctor  Sahab  Mujhe Dur  Ka Nazar Nahi ata hai..

Doctor na kaha-- > Wo Asmaan  Par Kia Hai?

Mareez --> wo Suraj hai

Doctor > Aabay  andhay  is  s e duur kia  khudha ko dekhaga keya..!
Doctor Patient Joke in Hindi
Patient: Docter Sab, mujhe bhool janey ki bemari hai

Doctor: Aap ko ye bemari kab se hai?

Mareez: Konsi bemari. . .
Then Doctor give a prescription to the patient
Kus samay bad----
Mareez : doctor sab a  dawai  to kahin se nahi mil rahi

Doctor: oo ho.. dawai likhna to hum bhol hi gaya ye to hamara signature hai:-
Doctor Hindi Joke
Kaya hai a daily life jara dekha jai--
husband: "Mujhay Janwaron k Doctor k paas lay chalo"
Wife: "kon hai wo?"
husband: "Roz Subah Murghay ki tarah uthta  hoon;
Ghoray ki tarah bhaag k Office jata hoon;
Gadhay ki tarah kaam karta hoon;
Ghar  a ke  sab par Kuttay ki tarah bhonkta hoon;
Aur Raat ko Bhains k sath so jata hoon..
Funny Doctor Joke in Hindi
Doctor:bolo apki husband ki keya problem hai?

Bibi:wo khub durbal hai.

Doctor:usko besi besi karke dud khawan.

Bibi:maine to dudh khane ke lyee magar wo to tipta hai.
Patient and Doctor Joke in Hindi
Admi:maine bohut dinse cigarette chodne ke liee kosis karta raha hum agar nahi parta hu.

Doctor:jaldi petrol pump par koi job le lijie ga.
Doctor Joke
Bibi:meri pati mujhko khub jalati hai.

Doctor: usko tin file gum ki tablet khate dena.

Bibi: toh wo to mar jayega?

Doctor:toh uski valo ghum hoga aur aap vi chainse nind parna,magar bichane par nahi kabar par.
Hindi Comedy Doctor Joke
Admi:main eek problem le kar problem par hai,keyaa aap bolna paroge wo problem keyaa hai?

Doctor:tumhara problem hai ki ye koi problem nahi hai.
Doctor Nurse Joke in Hindi
Nurse: aur rogi de kar keya karega? Operation kar ke to sushtho admi ko osushtho kar deta hai aap.
Doctor: iss problem solve karne ke lieehi to aur rogi dorkar practice karne ke liee!!!
Hilarious Doctor Joke in Hindi
Doctor ane se pehle rogi mar gaye”-iske English keya hay?
Very simple- “Innlillahi wa innalillhir rajiun”.
Hindi Doctor Funny Joke
Ek doctor ke pas gaya Rohan aur dekha 4 dollar ke binimoye baccha valo hota hay.

Rohan: wo keyse?

Doctor: tumhare bibi ko rakh jao aur 4 dollar de jao 4 din ke lie, guarantee hai tumhara
Baccha kala nahi hoga.
Funny Hindi Doctor Patient Joke
Doctor ki vul report me ek husband uski wife se kaha
Bola tha na tum upar raho aur mein niche rahu to tum pregnant nahi hota.
Hindi Doctor Joke
Ek admi bohot bemar tha,uske paribar ke log doctor ke pas le gaya
Doctor: e to mar gaya..
Patient: bahar ho kar, uski paribar se bola, doctor ne keya bola?
Paribar: chup karo tum to mar gaya, tumhare dafnake ata hu.


Comedy Premi and Premika Joke
Premi:-tum pyaar ko chunogi ya paise ko?
Premika:-paise wale pyaar ko.
Hindi Premi and Premika Joke
Premika:-tum to bas kaam main lage rahte ho.tumhe meri koi parwaah nahin.
Premi:-sach keh rahi ho.pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahin karte
Comedy Premi and Premika Joke in Hindi
Premi:-darling,aaj aisi koi romantic baat karo jisse mere pair zameen per na rahe.
Premika:-to aap faansi kyon nahin laga lete?
Premi and Premika Joke
premi apni premika ke liye phhol lekar aaya
premika :-mujhe ye phool nahin koi sone ki cheez chahiye.
premi:- ye lo takiya so jaao.
Premi and Premika Jokes in Hindi
Premi apni premika ke liye phhol lekar aaya
premika :-mujhe ye phool nahin koi sone ki cheez chahiye.
premi:- ye lo takiya so jaao.






Stale Hindi Jokes
Pappa: mummy kyu chup baithi hai?
Santa: kuch nahi, mummy ne lipstick maangi thi, lekin maine fevistick de diy

Boy: tumhaara naam kya hai?
Girl: sab mujhe 'behan' bulaate hai
Boy: wah, mujhe sab 'jeeja' bulaate hai

1st behra scooter khinch ke leja raha tha
2nd behra-kya hua petrol katam ho gayi kya?
1st behra-nahi yaar, petrol khatam ho gayi
2nd behra- acha mujeh laga petrol khatam ho gayi.


Ram: jab bhi meri biwi se jagda hoti hai to main ghar ke kuye ko bandh kar deta hoo.
Shyam: kyu? tumhaari biwi usme kood jaayegi kya?
Ram: nahi re. woh mujhe kuye ke andar giraa degi, isiliye

Maa: pappu ko kutte ne kaata kya? jaldi doctor ke paas le chalo
Ramu: lekin woh kutta to kabkaa bhaag chukaa hai


1st wife: suna ke tumhaara pati kue gir ke mar gaye.
2nd wife: haa behan
1st wife: ab tum kya kar rahi ho?
2nd wife: kue ka pani chodke nal ki pani se kaam chalaa rahi hoo
Hindi Jokes
Dukhaanwaala in ICU: beta, mujhe dekhne kaun kaun aaya hai?
His son: pappa, family ke sab log yaha hai.
Dukhaanwaala: gadha, agar sab log yaha hai, to dukhaan mein kaun hai?


Baap: exam kaise rahaa?
beta: bahut mushkil tha. koi bhi question mujhe nahi pataa tha.
baap: toh likhaa kya tune?
beta: paper khaali to nahi chod sakta hoo na. isliye sab questions ka answers diya, jo unhe pataa nahi hoga


graahak: kaunsaa soap achcha hai?
dukhaanwala: dettol hai
graahak: to, aap usme apna haath do ke mujhe 2 kilo chaawal deejiye


Shyam: maine apni beti ka shaadi sirf 1500 rupaye mein kiya.
Ram: woh kaise?
Shyam: maine use 1500 ka ek mobile dilaaya. usne love marriage karliya.


Bhagwan: hum tumhaare tapasya se prasanna hue. 2 vardhaan maang lo.
Bhakt: pehle vardhaan yeh hai ke, mujhe neend mein hee marna hai
Bhagwan: thataastu, doosra kya hai?
Bhakt: doosra yeh hai ke, mujhe kabhi neend nahi aani chaahiye.


Boy: hey bhagwan, maine kabhi galat kaam nahi kiya hai. phir bhi mujhe koi ladki pyar nahi karti hai?
Bhagwan: bhakt, sajjano ke saath hamesha achcha hi hota hai. un mein se yeh bhi ek hai. santusht raho
Average Hindi Jokes
Customer: aap har somvaar hotel ko chutti kyu dete ho?
Hotelwaala: kyunki hafte me us din hee hum saare bartan saaf karte hai


Customer: Bhaisaab, ek cup chaai dena.
Hotelwaala: kaunsa doo sir? special ya ordinary?
Customer: dono me kya farakh hai?
Hotelwaala: cup saaf karke doo, to special. aise hee doo to ordinary


ek baar phir pappu fail ho gaya aur uske pitaa use daant rahe the,
pitaji: padosi ladki ko dekho, woh first class mein pass hui hai aur tum ho, besharam
pappu: hamesha usi ko dekh rahaa tha, isiliye fail ho gaya


dadaji: raju, tumhaari teacher aa rahi hai. jaake chup jaao
raju: oh! pehle aap jaake chup jaao.
dadaji: kyu?
raju: kyunki kal maine aapka guzar jaane kaa bahaane karke chutti liyaa thaa


gusse se customer: waiter!! soup laate waqt toone usme apna ungli kyu daalaa tha?
waiter: no problem sir!! soup zyaada garam nahi hai


Boy: maine nayaa mobile khareeda hai.
Girl: chalo, mujhe party dhilaao
Party ke baad,
Girl: party ke liye paise kahaa se laaye?
Boy: nayaa phone khareeda tha na, use bhech diya
Stale Jokes in Hindi
TEACHER : PAPPU, map pe India ko pehchaano.
PAPPU : yeh raha!
TEACHER : Sahi hai. ab bachcho, India ko kisne aavishkar kiya
Class: Pappu


Student: sirji, yeh kya hai?
Sirji: Question Paper.
Student: aur yeh kya hai?
Sirji: answer paper
Student: kya naa insaafi hai. question paper mein question hai, par answer paper mein answer nahi hai :-(

Doctor: tumhe 20 stitches daalni hogi.
Patient: teek hai, lekin stitches ka design achchi rehni chaahiye.


Patient1: tumhe kaise pata chala ke waha nakli doctor hai.
Patient2: uska handwriting bahut achchi hai yaar, toh wah kaise doctor hoga.


Patient: Doctorji, ek baat mein aap bahut lucky ho.
Doctor: woh kaunsi baat hai?
Patient: agar aapko kuch ho gaya to aapka operation aapko nahi karni padegi. to aap lucky ho na.

Doctor: yeh tonic hai. roz 4 teaspoons lena.
Patient: lekin mere ghar mein sirf 1 hi teaspoon hai doctor


Santa: mera brush kyu aisa hai? tune kuch kiya kya?
Beta: kuch nahi kiya pappa. sirf tommy ka daant saaf kiya :-)
Stupid Hindi Jokes
Ram scooterwaale se: tumhe teek se signal dena aata nahi hai kya?
Scooterwaala: kyu?
Ram: pehle left signal diye aur baad me right de rahe ho, lekin seede hi jaa rahe ho.
Scooterwaala: arey bhai, mujhe seedhe jaana tha. lekin galti se left signal kiya. phir use cancel karne ke liye right signal diya. to sahi kiya na?


Ramu: tumhe kaisa pata chalaa ke woh nakli doctor hai?
Shyamu: usne stitches daalne ke liye tailor ke pass beja


Teacher: 1 apple ko 4 log kaise khaayenge?
Student: muh se


Teacher: sher ko dekhke kaun nahi daregaa?
Student: doosraa sher


Teacher: bachcho ab main is keede ko is alcohol ke bottle mein daal rahi hoo. bolo kya hua?
Student: keedaa mar gaya madam.
Teacher: isse tumhe kya gyaan milta hai?
Student: yehi ke agar hum alcohol piyenge to hamaare pet jo keede hai, woh mar jaayenge

Student: is book mein itne saare scientist aur unke number dee hai. kaise yaad rakhu sir?

bahut mushkil hai
Teacher: itna bhi mushkil nahi hai. kyunki woh telephone directory hai.


TEACHER : PAPPU, "I" se ek vaakya banaao.
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : nahi PAPPU, hamesha "I am." se shuru karo
PAPPU : Teek hai teacher, "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Stale Hindi Jokes
Customer: Koi ladkiwaali mobile dikhaaoji?
Dukhaandhaar: ladkiwaali mobile kya hai?
Customer: wahi yaar, jisme sirf missed calls jaate hai!!!!


sweety: pappa, dekho mere jokes newspaper print huaa hai :-)
pappa: arey, yeh kya kee hai? koi dekhegaa to hasegaa beti


pappu ro rahaa tha. tab banta ne poocha: Kyu ro rahe ho?
pappu: mere pappa ne kele pe pair rakh ke gir pade
banta: ro mat. pappa ko kuch nahi huaa na. phir bhi itnaa kyu ro rahe ho?
pappu: mere paas sirf ek hi kelaa tha :-(

pappu: pappa...pappa... mujhe baansuri dilaao na. seekhloonga.
pappu ke pappa: nahi beta... har waqt baansuri bajaate tum ghar mein sabko disturb karoge
pappu: nahi pappa. ghar mein sab log sone ke baad hi main baansuri bajaana shuru karungaa


Paper ka headline: Ek bhaag ne raju ko maar diyaa
Reason: Raju ne bhaag ko dekhkhe bola thaa "Kitnaa badaa billi hai!!!!"

Hotel ka maalik apni waiter se: kaam ke waqt kahaa jaa rahe ho?
waiter: kuch nahi sir, kisi achche hotel mein naashtaa karne jaa rahaa hoo. 10 minute mein aa jaaunga.

Salesman: sir, yeh kapda super quality ka hai. kabhi phategaa nahi.
Customer: tab mujhe kaise 1 meter cut karke doge. mujhe nahi chaahiye chodo.






Teasing Jokes
Patni aur ghadi main kya antar hai?.
ghadi bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai.
aur patni bigadati hai to "SHURu" ho jati hai.
Funny sms in Hindi
Pahli padosan:-kya baat hai bahan, kal raat tum 3 ghante tak apne pati se jhagadti rahi. Jabki roz 20-25 minute hi ladti ho.

Doosri padosan:-kya bataoon bahan,aaj se ye 5 din ke tour per jaa rahe hain.
Naukraani and maalkin funny Hindi Joke
Naukraani:-maalkin baba ne cockroach kha liya.
Maalkin:-are jaldi karo use doctor ke paas le chalo.

Naukraani:-aap tention mat lo, maine baba ko bygone pila diya.
Funny bachche Hindi Joke
Ek naye teacher ne ek bachche se poocha, "is pakshi ke pair dekho aur iska naam batao."

Bachche ne kaha, " pata nahin."

Teacher ne kaha, "Tum fail ho gaye,batao tumhara naam batao."

Bachche ne kaha "Mere pair dekho aur naam batao"
Cute pati and patni Hindi Joke
Yadi koi pati car ka darwaaza khol kar khada ho jaye aur patni se bathane ka aagrah Karen
to yeh tay jaaniye ki ya to car nai hai ya biwi.
Funny Santa sms
Officer Santa:-Madam is swimming pool main nahana mana hai.
Aurat:-to aapne mujhe tab mana kyon nahin kya jab main kapde utaar rahi thi.
Officer santa:-madam kapde utarna those hi mana hai.
Cute animal sms
Ek gadhe ne santa ko maara aur bhagne laga.
santa gadhe ke peeche use pakadne dauda. Raste main use zebra mila. Santa bola sala track suit pahan kar mujhe ullu banata hai.
Patient and Doctor Hindi Joke
Patient: Doctor, mujhe lagta hai ki mujhe vampire ne kaat lya hai..

Doctor: achcha , lo ek glass paani piyo.

Patient: kya main isse thik ho jaaunga?

Doctor: nahin per isse mujhe pata chal jaaega ki tumhare gale main chhed hai ki nahin.
Waiter Joke Hindi
Ek customer waiter se:-waiter dekho mere soup main cockroach pada hai.
Waiter:- sorry sir,aajkal makkhiya vacation per gayi hain.
One Liner Hindi Joke
mandir ja, meri bhi unhi ne dhoondh kar di thi.
Hindi Writer Joke
lekhak se kisi ne poocha: janab aap buri aurto ki hi kahaniyan kyon likhte hain?
Lekhak(hairani se):-bhala achchi aurato ki koi kahani hoti hai?
Funny Beta Pita sms
Beta: Papa shaadi karke jab log pareshaan hi rahte hai to shaadi kyu karte hai,

Pita: Beta akal badaam khaane se nahi tokar khaane se aati hai.
Funny papa Beta Hindi Joke
Papa:-beta, agar mere nadi main tairne tak tum ek hi jagah baithe rahoge to main tumhe 10 rs. Dunga.

Beta:-aur papa agar aap wapas nahin aaye,to kya main ye paise mummy se le loon?
Funny Girls sms Hindi
Pahli ladki:-tumhara necklace bada kimti lag raha hai. Lagta hai kahi achchi job lag gayi hai.

Doosri ladki:-job nahin yaar, lottery lag gayi. Mujhe paise wala pati mil gaya.
Funny women joke in Hindi
Ek mahila:- jab kabhi main apni beti ke saath nikalti hoon, to log log poochte hain kya ye chhoti bahan hai?

Doosri mahila:-achcha tumhari beti abhi se itni boodhi dikhne lagi hai?
Funny one liner sms
Ek beauty parlor ke bahar ek line likhi thi,"yahan se niklne wali ladkiyon ko seeti na bajaye, wo aapki daadi ho sakti hain."
Funny student sms Hindi Joke
Ek medical student ne apni classmate ko khoon se ek khat dekar kaha,"is khat ka jawab zaroor dena."

Classmate ne use jawab diya,"tumhara bloodgroup B positive hai."
Premi premika one liner sms
Purani kahawat hai ki shaadi se pahle premi premika ka haath prem ki wajah se pakadta hai, jabki shaddi ke baad aatmraksha ke liye.
Sharabi Joke in Hindi
Sharabi and Doctor Funny Sms
Sharabi:-Doctor ji kya aap meri sharab chuuda sakte hain?

Doctor:- haan haan ,kyon nahin.
Sharabi:- police ne meri 50 botel sharab ki pakad li hain ,jaldi se unhe chhudwa lijiye.
Boyfriend and girlfriend SMS Joke in Hindi
Boyfriend:-kitna achcha ho yadi hamari shaadi isi saal ho jaae.

Girlfriend:- oh to kya tumhari shaadi bhi isi saal ho rahi hai?
Funny Fishe Joke
Dho goldfish bowl main baat kar rahi thi:
pahli goldfish:- kyat tum bhagwan per bharosa karti ho?

Doosri goldfish :- bilkul, to tumhe kya lagta hai ,roz bowl ka paani koun change karta hai?
Patient and Doctor funny Joke in Hindi
Patient:-Doctor, jab bhi main chai peeta hu meri aankh main dard hone lagta ha.

Doctor:-Ab tum jab bhi chai peena , cup main se spoon bahar nikal lena.
Saas And Bahu Jokes
Saas:-bhagwaan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di hai, chaawal se patthar nahin nikal sakti kya?

Bahu:-bhagwan ne aapko bhi to 32 daant diya hain,do char patthar chaba nahin sakti kya?



Ragging k waqt ladko ne
ek ladki se kaha ,
Ek – sawal ka jawab
Do – Patna kahan hai ?
Ladki – Bihar me .
Boys – yahi pat jao itni dur jaane ki kya zarurat hai .
Wife – kitchen se aji sunte ho
aajkal mai khubsurat hoti ja rahi hue .
Husband – : tumne kaise jana
Wife :- aaj kal meri khubsurti dekhkar rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hai …..



Wife: Suniye g aap ka dost galat larki se shaadi kar raha hai.
aap usse rokte kyon nahi?
Husband: Main kyon rokon? us ne mujhe roka tha kiya